I'm not quite sure what this is, but I'm enjoying myself.
Though sometimes, I feel like I'm treading on thin ice.

So uncertain, yet secure.
An eagerness, yet patience reigns.
Above all, an unexplainable comfort and contentment.


 

Oh God, I lament.

I lament.
How can anyone not be radical for You?
You, who created the stars in the sky, the sun and the moon, the day and night, clouds and sunshine and rainbows and the heavens and the earth.
You, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
You, who led 1 million children of Israel out of bondage in Egypt to a land flowing with milk and honey.
You, who delivered Daniel and his friends out of the mouths of lions and furnaces of fire.
You, the author of the greatest love story in the world.
You, who looked upon the sins of men and loved us all the same.
You, who sent your son Jesus to die for our sins, so we may have eternal life?

Jesus, who tore down the temple and rebuilt it in three days.
Jesus, a miracle, a controversy, who won the world through love.

I speak to all Christians out there.

I don’t understand how someone can believe in Jesus, but not in His word.
I don’t understand how someone can know Jesus and not be radical for Him.
He was darn well radical for us.
I don’t understand how Jesus can give up His life for us, but we can’t do the same for Him.
No, not one bit.

Where is the radicalism?
Where is the love?
Where is the fear?
Where is the gratitude?

I don’t care what people think.
I don’t care if they think I’m crazy, or if I’m a bigot, deluded, stupid or a fundamentalist.
I love my Jesus, I believe every word He said, every word God ever said, and every word He will ever say.
I will live and die for Him.
I don’t care, I don’t care.
Nothing will stand in my way.
My heart will always love Jesus.

Where is the heart?

We are like sheep, blindly following the behinds of other sheep.
There will be those who follow without understanding, never needing to know how, or why, or what or when.
Yet, there are others who will ask, question, seeking to find the answers that no one seems to be interested in.
Blind followers we say, spineless and weak.
Apathetic, uncaring, ignorant and naïve.

But take a step back and look.
Slowly, the goats are being separated from the flock.
The wheat from the tares.
Those who ask will be answered, those who seek will find.
Those who choose to go against the current will find themselves strengthened , equipped to turn the tide and direct the flow.

In light of certain events which have unveiled themselves over the past week, I have this to say.
I trust in the leaders, I trust in Pastors.
Undying, unquestioning trust.
No, not just because I’m supposed to, I have to, not because of peer pressure.
I trust because I can see, because of testings, because I decide for myself.

And this was what my walk with God was like.
I entered into a relationship with Him, fully trusting, waiting to see and believe.
And it was good.
I saw that my God is good, and so I believed, even more.
But then came times of silence, excruciating silence.
Excruciating, because of the tests, the trials.
Excruciating, because I could not understand.
And for the first time in my life, I questioned.
“God, are you really that good? If you are, what is happening to me? Why is this happening to me?”
For the first time in my life, I was angry, I was raging.
But in that split second, I decided to trust.
I did not understand, but I trusted.
I told myself, trust first, obey first, love first, then I’ll ask.
And I emerged stronger.

If you don’t understand…ask.
Question, challenge.
Question and challenge not to triumph, but to understand.

I don’t presume to know everything.
I don’t claim exclusive rights to the truth.
If you ask me what my political views are, I’d say I’m pro-choice, because I believe my God is pro-choice.
Has been ever since the days of the garden of Eden.
I simply hope to offer new perspectives, answer some of your questions, or maybe, just mine.

Unstructured, raw, but real.

I apologise to my readers, who’ve had to put up with more personal posts from me this week.

Here’s another.

For goodness’ sake, I’m crying out to you to repair our friendship.

I don’t know how much it means to you, but it meant the world to me and I don’t want to give up on something which was so important to me.

If we were so different even then, how should our differences only matter now?
Can we please stop running away from confrontation and do something about it?

Tell me when you’re ready.
I am.

Oh I’m so pissed today, I have to let everything out before I burst.

Let’s start with football.

If others can write about rivaling football clubs and expect zero backlash, then I’ll claim the same rights.

I love Manchester United. I don’t claim to be United’s number 1 fan, and it’s only recently that I caught up with football news, but my love for them remains. I love them because they fight back, they don’t give in without a fight. They are not lem bek. The marvelous come-back at Old Trafford against Tottenham..that was a classic.

Oh yes. I hear Pool and Spurs fans EVERWHERE crying out foul play for the penalty awarded. Oh, and so United is the ONLY TEAM in the EPL that gets away with referee mistakes. Oh yes, all referees are United fans, they will always rule in favour of United.

Oh and by the way, perhaps I forgot to mention, we won by 5 – 2? Were all the other 4 goals the result of a referee’s mistake too? Or were the opposing team simply too demoralized to fight? United was demoralized, yes. Spurs were the better team in the first half, yes. But like I said, we fight, we bounce back.

I hate it when United wins and everyone just brushes it off and says, “Oh, the referee was biased”, or “United played dirty”, or “They were lucky”.

PFA Player of the Year went to Ryan Giggs, and 6 out of 11 of the PFA Team of the Year went to United players. Zero from Arsenal, 1 from Aston Villa, 1 from Portsmouth, 1 from Chelsea and 2 from Liverpool. But 6 from United. And honestly, I didn’t even think Evra was that fantastic.

Maybe we were lucky again. Strike toto. Or maybe the entire PFA panel was biased. All United fans. Oh, the horror, the injustice! JUST like those years we won the Treble, and our Double in 08.

Oh please. If your club is so great, you’d be the one winning it. We already have two in hand, how about you?  

I’ve had enough of these sore losers posting everywhere on Facebook about how their clubs don’t win because of this, because of that. If your team didn’t play well, take it and move on. Stop irritating the rest of the world.

If United loses the Cup, fine, so be it, the better team one. I can take it, United fans can take it in their stride. Can you?

But if we win, and the chances are so high you’d have to take a jet to get up there, oh you will watch us lord it over all you sore losers.

One last thing. THIS is why we lord it over people when we win. Because of all you sore losers who can’t appreciate good football.

So watch us claim the quadruple. And even if we don’t, watch us support till the end. You’re not the only ones who have LOYAL fans.

Pfft.